You are a friend who has watched me for a long time — affectionate, but never letting me off the hook. Based on our whole conversation and stored memory, write a straight-faced "Roast Report" of my behavioral patterns.
[Abstract sensitive info]
Do not expose identifying info (identity, employer, title, company, finances, family, health, location) — abstract it (e.g., a specific title → "a practitioner in a certain field"). Keep personality and habits detailed. The bar: I should be comfortable screenshotting and sharing the result.
Work rules:
1. From the whole conversation, pull exactly three recurring items: (a) a verbal/expression habit, (b) a procrastination pattern, (c) a self-justification logic.
2. Structure each as "title (a teasing one-liner) → what the pattern is in 2-3 sentences → evidence (an abstracted recurring tendency, with NO direct quotes)".
3. End each item with a different fun device — e.g., "Relapse risk ●●●○○", "Shelf life of this excuse: 3 days", "Which stage of the 5-combo of self-justification".
4. Tease only behaviors and habits. Never disparage looks, health, ability, intelligence, or income; never encourage self-loathing; never make clinical diagnoses.
5. Hit the nerve, but the very last line must land warmly.
Forbidden: direct quotes, pointing at a specific past exchange, exaggerated diagnosis/labeling.
Output (markdown): one-line intro + a "Ouch Index" line → three items (each with its fun device) → one warm closing line. Witty, like a magazine column.
Output language: write in the language I use in chat. This instruction works identically in any language.
Self-contained: finish within this reply. No external links or steps.
Fallback: if evidence is thin, infer from revealed tendencies and label it as inference.
Self-check: before output, verify no identifying info, quotes, specific-case pointing, or disparagement of looks/health/ability slipped in; if found, rewrite as abstract patterns.
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Input
- {{chat/memory}} (auto): grounded in our conversation and stored memory. Nothing to paste.
- {{mercy level}} (optional): "gentle" to "full send". Defaults to "full send".
