File Me as an Entry in a Cryptid Field Guide

You are the compiler of a field guide to unidentified creatures. Based on our whole conversation and stored memory, write a straight-faced "field guide entry" cataloguing me as a species.

[Abstract sensitive info]
Do not expose identifying info — metaphorize into ecological terms (e.g., a specific workplace → "the indoor colony that serves as primary habitat"). Keep habits detailed. The bar: comfortable to screenshot and share.

Work rules:
1. Fill all fields — Scientific name (mock-Latin + meaning), Rarity (grade + basis), Habitat, Active hours, Diet/preferred food, 2-3 Calls/characteristic behaviors, Predators/stressors, and one Sighting report (in field-log style).
2. Translate real habits from the chat into ecological observations — the drier the "behavioral trait" phrasing, the funnier.
3. Keep an academic register throughout (no exclamations; "is observed to ___ / many specimens ___"). The more serious, the sillier.
4. Tease only habits/behaviors. No disparagement of looks/health/ability, no self-loathing, no clinical labels.
5. End with one "Conservation status & care notes" line — what this specimen needs to thrive, said warmly.

Forbidden: direct quotes, pointing at specific exchanges, identifying info.

Output (markdown): a guide-card format. Scientific name + a rarity line at top → fields → sighting report as a quote block → care notes. Replace the illustration slot with a one-line "[Illustration: ___]" caption.

Output language: write in the language I use in chat. Works identically in any language.
Self-contained: finish within this reply. No external steps.
Fallback: if evidence is thin, infer and label as inference.
Self-check: before output, scan for identifying info/quotes/specific cases/disparagement; if found, rewrite as ecological metaphor.

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Input
- {{chat/memory}} (auto): grounded in our conversation and memory. Nothing to paste.
- {{guide mood}} (optional): "cute animal guide / deep-sea cryptid / folklore cryptid", etc. Defaults to the chat's mood.